What are my supplement?
Folic Acid - preparation for baby
Woman Multivitamin
L-arginin - good protein, improve blood vessel
Spirulina - one of super food
Metformin - good for PCOS
coEnzym Q10 - good for ovum
Fish oil with DHA
Vitamin B12 - good for endometrium
Traditional
Madu tualang
Ekstrak delima
Tuesday, March 8, 2016
Beta Hcg Serum test post FET
My cycle is 28 days. every month punctual, lasting for 3 days. Day 1 of period, u call it CD1= count day.
8 hb CD 1
9 hb CD 2
10 hb CD 3
11 hb CD 4
12 hb CD 5
13 hb CD 6
14 hb CD 7
15 hb CD 8
16 hb CD 9
17 hb CD 10
18 hb CD 11
19 hb CD 12
20 hb CD 13
21 hb CD 14
22 hb CD 15 Considered as ovulation day:DPO
23 hb CD 16 1DPO (Day Post Ovulation)
24 hb CD 17 2DPO
25 hb CD 18 Frozen embryo transfer, age day 3 (8 cells moderate grade:2). 3DPO
26 hb CD 19 4DPO 1DPT3DT (1 Day Post Transfer ,3 Day Transferred)
27 hb CD 20 5DPO 2DPT3DT
28 hb CD 21 6DPO 3DPT3DT
29 hb CD 22 7DPO 4DPT3DT
1 hb CD 23 8DPO 5DPT3DT
2 hb CD 24 9DPO 6DPT3DT
3 hb CD 25 10DPO 7DPT3DT
4 hb CD 26 11DPO 8DPT3DT
5 hb CD 27 12DPO 9DPT3DT
6 hb CD 28 13DPO 10DPT3DT Spotting
7 hb CD 1 14DPO 11DPT3DT Period due. Spotting.
8 hb CD 2 15DPO 12DPT3DT Period due. Spotting. Beta Hcg Test 5 (I'm here today)
BFP: Big Fat Positive
BFN: Big fat Negative
HPT :Home Pregnancy Test
FMU: First Morning Urine
POAS: Pee On A Stick
FET: Frozen Embryo transfer
How IVF screwing my life?
I'm doing my IVF for the first time at SUNFERT Bangsar South under Dr. Wong Pak Seng. My ovary was stimulated last year and i have gotten myself
14 follicle harvested
12 were fertilized
6 were good and moderate grade
6 were frozen.
3 days after the ovum pick up, i had a blood test to see if my hormone was stable enough for a fersh cycle / embryo transfer. It turned out that my progesterone were too high. Doctor decided to perform a frozen transfer the following month. We used up two and left with 4 to keep. It was fail.
This year, 2016, we decided to do anther FET. we have selected 2 moderate embryo. One embryo did not make it, after the thawing process, the grade went down and not good enough to join the party. So they thawed another one, and left just one to keep.
So today is day 12 after the transfer. We woke up at 6.30 and headed to Sunfert at 7 a.m. It was rush hour and took us 1 hour to get to Bangsar. After approaching the receptionist saying that we have a beta test, she called one of the nurse to attend me. Afraid that i would do some fainting drama during the blood drawing, I brought myself a cup of hot Milo in the thermos. It didn't take long then we were given another appointment to see Dr Wong 2 hours after that. we went to old Bangsar and had breakfast at mamak. At this point, i already belasah minum teh tarik. Semua pantang larang mak nenek Im going to throw out of the window, today!...because the brown discharge was getting darker each day.
Actually i have taken several pregnancy test and knowing that i have spotting, 90% of me saying its negative. So, this is really bad example of behavior. Don't do this TTC.
We came back to the clinic, waited an hour. The moment our number pop out, i asked my husband to go first, to enter the room. When i saw the doctor's face, I knew its negative. So he break the news. He did not know what was the problem and he said my lining of uterus was beautiful with 8.5 mm and has 3 layers. (Meaning it was perfect home) . He said the process of the transfer was "EASY" , "NO BLOOD" was seen.. (Some difficult transfer has low chances) . The embryo was placed 1.5 cm (which was the best location he believes). At last he said, maybe the embryo was not good because in one batch of ovum, we don't know which one is good even-though with good grades. Grading was based on physical appearance of the embryo.
I was offered with two options
1. New cycle with long protocol followed by frozen transfer.He said this will make me have more eggs.
2. Another Frozen embryo transfer with the only embryo that i have. The embryo is moderate grade. chances of pregnancy is 22%.
As he felt sorry for us, he offered a discount for that two options. A couple of grant off.
Consultation : RM 85
Blood test Bhcg: RM 100
Total today: RM 185
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FET : RM 4800
IVF: RM 18000
I think so far, we have spent 40K.
8 hb CD 1
9 hb CD 2
10 hb CD 3
11 hb CD 4
12 hb CD 5
13 hb CD 6
14 hb CD 7
15 hb CD 8
16 hb CD 9
17 hb CD 10
18 hb CD 11
19 hb CD 12
20 hb CD 13
21 hb CD 14
22 hb CD 15 Considered as ovulation day:DPO
23 hb CD 16 1DPO (Day Post Ovulation)
24 hb CD 17 2DPO
25 hb CD 18 Frozen embryo transfer, age day 3 (8 cells moderate grade:2). 3DPO
26 hb CD 19 4DPO 1DPT3DT (1 Day Post Transfer ,3 Day Transferred)
27 hb CD 20 5DPO 2DPT3DT
28 hb CD 21 6DPO 3DPT3DT
29 hb CD 22 7DPO 4DPT3DT
1 hb CD 23 8DPO 5DPT3DT
2 hb CD 24 9DPO 6DPT3DT
3 hb CD 25 10DPO 7DPT3DT
4 hb CD 26 11DPO 8DPT3DT
5 hb CD 27 12DPO 9DPT3DT
6 hb CD 28 13DPO 10DPT3DT Spotting
7 hb CD 1 14DPO 11DPT3DT Period due. Spotting.
8 hb CD 2 15DPO 12DPT3DT Period due. Spotting. Beta Hcg Test 5 (I'm here today)
BFP: Big Fat Positive
BFN: Big fat Negative
HPT :Home Pregnancy Test
FMU: First Morning Urine
POAS: Pee On A Stick
FET: Frozen Embryo transfer
How IVF screwing my life?
I'm doing my IVF for the first time at SUNFERT Bangsar South under Dr. Wong Pak Seng. My ovary was stimulated last year and i have gotten myself
14 follicle harvested
12 were fertilized
6 were good and moderate grade
6 were frozen.
3 days after the ovum pick up, i had a blood test to see if my hormone was stable enough for a fersh cycle / embryo transfer. It turned out that my progesterone were too high. Doctor decided to perform a frozen transfer the following month. We used up two and left with 4 to keep. It was fail.
This year, 2016, we decided to do anther FET. we have selected 2 moderate embryo. One embryo did not make it, after the thawing process, the grade went down and not good enough to join the party. So they thawed another one, and left just one to keep.
So today is day 12 after the transfer. We woke up at 6.30 and headed to Sunfert at 7 a.m. It was rush hour and took us 1 hour to get to Bangsar. After approaching the receptionist saying that we have a beta test, she called one of the nurse to attend me. Afraid that i would do some fainting drama during the blood drawing, I brought myself a cup of hot Milo in the thermos. It didn't take long then we were given another appointment to see Dr Wong 2 hours after that. we went to old Bangsar and had breakfast at mamak. At this point, i already belasah minum teh tarik. Semua pantang larang mak nenek Im going to throw out of the window, today!...because the brown discharge was getting darker each day.
Actually i have taken several pregnancy test and knowing that i have spotting, 90% of me saying its negative. So, this is really bad example of behavior. Don't do this TTC.
We came back to the clinic, waited an hour. The moment our number pop out, i asked my husband to go first, to enter the room. When i saw the doctor's face, I knew its negative. So he break the news. He did not know what was the problem and he said my lining of uterus was beautiful with 8.5 mm and has 3 layers. (Meaning it was perfect home) . He said the process of the transfer was "EASY" , "NO BLOOD" was seen.. (Some difficult transfer has low chances) . The embryo was placed 1.5 cm (which was the best location he believes). At last he said, maybe the embryo was not good because in one batch of ovum, we don't know which one is good even-though with good grades. Grading was based on physical appearance of the embryo.
I was offered with two options
1. New cycle with long protocol followed by frozen transfer.He said this will make me have more eggs.
2. Another Frozen embryo transfer with the only embryo that i have. The embryo is moderate grade. chances of pregnancy is 22%.
As he felt sorry for us, he offered a discount for that two options. A couple of grant off.
Consultation : RM 85
Blood test Bhcg: RM 100
Total today: RM 185
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FET : RM 4800
IVF: RM 18000
I think so far, we have spent 40K.
Who Am I? Why blog?
How am I doing in my real life?
I'm not really an extrovert person in real life but I'm happy and fun to be with. I'm funny, I love to smile and laugh. I make stupid jokes.
I don't have best friend because I was brought up by my mother in a way I could say just different than other parent. So, i don't talk about my personal life to people around me. I keep my secret to myself no matter how i struggle in life. Besides, after graduating and married, I'm mostly at home, and my husband has a small business that could offer me a job from home. Occasionally, i would go out only with two person, Zura and Syahir.
Writing was only up to SPM, beyond that, i don't do anymore essay. Neither my English or Bahasa Melayu is good. I stayed in Indonesia almost a decade. When i write in bahasa, i struggle to maintain the language and the spelling. It will turn out like bahasa baku. Yeah, like my first post...
Gua bisa bangat ngomong bahasa indonesia, keren gak sich? Buset yach ngapain juga gw ngucapin ini semua, kagak ada yg ngerti. Beneran deh, gw ini anak gaul Jakarta.
No no, not going into this language...
Why writing anonymously?
I don't like being judge especially about infertility in my real life. u cant say much to people around u, they will have different opinion that you might not like and you will not able to stand for yourself because he or she is your parents or siblings that already has billion babies with tons of experiences. In my opinion, infertility is really personal matter. Imagine having this conversation.
Makcik A: Dah ada isi ke?
Me: Belum
Makcik A: Tunggu apa lagi, cepatlah, nanti dah tua susah.
Me: Saya dan suami ada masalah.
Makcik A: Masalah apa?
Me: Berudu suami saya tak boleh berenang. Rahim saya pulak banyak sangat telur belum matang nak kena peram lama sikit.
Makcik A: (Actually i dont know how this makcik would react if i answer her like this, hahahahah just some imagination that i dont want to happen in my life)
Seriously, i don't have intention to give 100% positive support to other TTC because I'm just a human that is struggling to keep myself in one piece. Maybe there are times i feel so down, that i want to write about killing my doctor or thinking about sending my husband's sperm to swimming lessons. basically, i write what i feel like writing. Take benefits with what u feel that is good about it, or laugh at my problem because i don't know u in my life.
I blog because i have read so many from the internet. It keeps me mentally healthy (sound selfish here). You will never know how u would die, maybe by hyper-stimulation of your ovary (see negative thinking). Actually i just want to tell someone out there that I'm doing this thing called battle of infertility. How long this war going to take? I don't know.
I'm not really an extrovert person in real life but I'm happy and fun to be with. I'm funny, I love to smile and laugh. I make stupid jokes.
I don't have best friend because I was brought up by my mother in a way I could say just different than other parent. So, i don't talk about my personal life to people around me. I keep my secret to myself no matter how i struggle in life. Besides, after graduating and married, I'm mostly at home, and my husband has a small business that could offer me a job from home. Occasionally, i would go out only with two person, Zura and Syahir.
Writing was only up to SPM, beyond that, i don't do anymore essay. Neither my English or Bahasa Melayu is good. I stayed in Indonesia almost a decade. When i write in bahasa, i struggle to maintain the language and the spelling. It will turn out like bahasa baku. Yeah, like my first post...
Gua bisa bangat ngomong bahasa indonesia, keren gak sich? Buset yach ngapain juga gw ngucapin ini semua, kagak ada yg ngerti. Beneran deh, gw ini anak gaul Jakarta.
No no, not going into this language...
Why writing anonymously?
I don't like being judge especially about infertility in my real life. u cant say much to people around u, they will have different opinion that you might not like and you will not able to stand for yourself because he or she is your parents or siblings that already has billion babies with tons of experiences. In my opinion, infertility is really personal matter. Imagine having this conversation.
Makcik A: Dah ada isi ke?
Me: Belum
Makcik A: Tunggu apa lagi, cepatlah, nanti dah tua susah.
Me: Saya dan suami ada masalah.
Makcik A: Masalah apa?
Me: Berudu suami saya tak boleh berenang. Rahim saya pulak banyak sangat telur belum matang nak kena peram lama sikit.
Makcik A: (Actually i dont know how this makcik would react if i answer her like this, hahahahah just some imagination that i dont want to happen in my life)
Seriously, i don't have intention to give 100% positive support to other TTC because I'm just a human that is struggling to keep myself in one piece. Maybe there are times i feel so down, that i want to write about killing my doctor or thinking about sending my husband's sperm to swimming lessons. basically, i write what i feel like writing. Take benefits with what u feel that is good about it, or laugh at my problem because i don't know u in my life.
I blog because i have read so many from the internet. It keeps me mentally healthy (sound selfish here). You will never know how u would die, maybe by hyper-stimulation of your ovary (see negative thinking). Actually i just want to tell someone out there that I'm doing this thing called battle of infertility. How long this war going to take? I don't know.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
How Long To Keep Trying
After numerous of on Clomid cycle, a round of IUI and a cycle of IVF with 2 times of frozen embryo transfer in 3 years, when is the right time to put a full stop? I have becoming a quiet and reserve person. Right now, i even don't talk to my family and already told my grandparents in advance that i wont be coming back for Raya. Nobody can really console me. Nobody can understand the pain of TTC. I have cried like breaking my head. I don't want to see people and i can just stay home for weeks doing my hobby. I don't like being questioned when to have a baby or why i haven't got any? How to response? Its not a competition but people just don't understand because they are not in my shoes.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
Second trial
Assalamualaikum,
8 hb setelah dua hari lewat, keluar darah pukul 6 petang. Dia datang tanpa ada rasa kram diperut dan hanya sedikit stain sehari sebelumnya yang hanya tercomot di tuala. Kebiasaannya tiga empat hari sebelum darah sebenar, saya mengalami brown spotting yang semakin hari akan semakin bertukar ke darah merah. Namun demikian kali ini sedikit berbeza. Walaupun berbeza sebenarnya inilah period yang biasa saya dapat sebelum saya mula berjumpa dokter dan mengambil ubat hormon membantu untuk hamil.
Dua tahun sudah, saya mula berjumpa dokter kerana setelah hampir setahun berusaha, saya tidak hamil. Dari klinik pertama yang kami pergi, saya telah diberikan rawatan klomid. Pada masa itu hanya sebutir fibroid yang ditemukan dan letaknya jauh di dalam otot rahim dengan ukuran 1cm. Tak ada masalah, ovum ada dan matang. Setelah berkali kali rawatan dengan komid, kami pindah ke iui di Metro Klang. Pada hari IUI, kami diberitahukan bahawa sperm hanya berjumlah 1juta dan berenang lemah. Kami disarankan untuk memeriksa kualiti sperm semula. Sebelum itu kami ada buat pemeriksaan sperm, tapi normal sahaja.
Bermula dari situ, suami tidak mahu lagi di Metro. Kami periksa sperm di SDMC, hasilnya sama, tidak beberapa baik namun demikian dokter yang menjelaskan keadaan mengatakan agar tidak perlu risau.
Kami memutuskan untuk focus kerja dan mencuba secara natural, sehingglah bos suami memberitahu bahawa ada rakan sekerja yang 15 tahun tak ada zuriat, berjaya di Sunfert. bermulalah kami menerima rawatan di situ. Suami lebih yakin kerana kawannya berubat disitu juga.
Pada pemeriksaan sperm pertama kali, hasilnya masih sama bila dilihat angka-angkanya, namun dokter kali ini berterus terang mengatakan bahwa kualiti sperm tidak bagus dan menyarankan kami melakukan IVF. di Sunfert juga saya di diagnosa dengan PCOS ringan , adenomyosis, fibroid 2 butir. Ini cerita secara singkat bagaimana kami boleh berada di situasi ini sekarang.
IVF pertama gagal. tahun 2015, bulan August.
Hari ini adalah hari kedua masuk hari ketiga period. Saya tak dapat melelapkan mata kerana esok kami akan ke sunfert dengan harapan untuk scan rahim, mengetahui keadaan apakah kami sesuai untuk menjalani FET kali kedua. Kami tidak buat appoinment kerana sunfert tutup pada hari raya cina dan susah juga period lewat 2 hari. Jadi esok kami akan datang terus ke sunfert.
Kali ini saya memutuskan tidak mahu memberitahu keluarga atau sesiapa yang mengenali kerana tekanannya besar, dan tidak semua memahami situasi tersebut.
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